The main reason I decided to pursue a gap year program for this year was due to the extreme academic burnout I had been experiencing. Midway through my senior year of high school, I realized I was, for the first time in my life, doing poorly in my classes. Due to my various learning differences, I had certainly struggled in classes before, but never had it manifested in such a blatant way. I had, up until this point, managed to maintain my generally positive academic record through doing well on in-class assignments and the occasional project (also, lots of make-up work or assignments turned in just late enough that I was getting bumped down letter grades). This was, of course, not a perfect nor sustainable academic strategy, but it was one that had at least been functional for most of my recent schooling experience.

So, when I realized I was not only doing poorly in classes, but also that I had been actively avoiding attending those classes (which I had never done before), I very quickly recognized that whatever I had been doing to get me to that point needed to stop. I managed to double up on school and outpatient therapy, worked my butt off, and managed to join back up with my fellow students by the last quarter of the school year. This meant that, though slightly non-traditional, I was able to have a more normal experience of finishing up and graduating high school.

By the time I graduated, I had already gotten into college, but within the first few weeks of summer, I realized something was off. I was not simply rebounding with a little bit of rest like I typically would. The work I had done on myself during that time away from school had been a Band-Aid at best. It had allowed me to round out my year well, but it would not carry me further than that. I had all the tools that outpatient therapy gives you, but I simply did not have enough practice employing them effectively. So, a gap year to allow me a full year of living on steady ground and meeting the expectations set for me sounded wise.

I will admit that the reason this solution was a viable one for me was because I have been in therapy since fifth grade, which meant my ability to assess, analyze, and implement my therapeutic skills had been one I had been training for far longer than average. I had also attended a boarding high school, so I had some experience living away from home. These pre-existing factors allowed me to set the intention that I was going to use Dynamy as a productive time. I ensured that the skills I had in my toolbox were sufficient so that, when the time inevitably came in college for them to become relevant again, I would be able to employ them independently instead of becoming avoidant. I had functionally given myself a year to answer whether I would be ready to go back to an independent academic environment where I would have multiple deadlines and responsibilities that would require me to manage them all at once.

Also, admittedly, the internships just sounded like so much fun. If I was going to spend a year working on my internal motivation, I was going to have fun doing it. As I learned more about Dynamy’s internship experience, I also realized how this would help me better explore my potential career paths so I could have a better understanding of what classes I may want to keep an eye on in college earlier in the timeline than most students.

So, having laid out my intentions for the year, let’s see how my experience played out in contrast.

First, we should address the Adventure Challenge. I would like to clarify that I would still not sign up for that sort of activity on my own; however, I believe the Adventure Challenge was an incredibly positive part of my Dynamy experience. The nearly week-long time spent in the “wilderness” (read: summer camp) provided what was almost a reset for everyone. It took us as students, who came from all different places, and put us all on an equal playing field, which certainly made making friends easier. I will also say I think I built up a lot of both physical and mental endurance through the Adventure Challenge. The first few days were rough, but once you build up a rhythm, the momentum gets going, and it really is an entirely manageable activity.

Next, let’s reflect on the rest of my Dynamy experience. First and foremost, I have greatly enjoyed my time at Dynamy. I can say with complete certainty that this was a life-changing experience for me. Dynamy built up my confidence to a degree I didn’t know I needed. I did not realize how capable I truly was until I was absolutely acing my internships, and I did not really realize how little social interaction I was getting until my Advisor let me know I wasn’t attending enough Dynamy events. Both things gave me enough awareness to either become more confident in my abilities or to learn, grow, and work on the areas in which I was lacking.

This awareness and learning helped me build confidence in myself that I would be able to change and adapt to whatever situation I found myself in. All in all, Dynamy did exactly what I needed it to do: it provided a physical space for me to figure myself out and enough support from staff to get the ball rolling on my internships, which I would not have been able to do by myself at that time.